Money status
I'm worth as much as I have.
Want to know your money script? Twenty statements, about four minutes.
In this script, money is the measure of a person's worth, first of all your own. It matters not only to have it but for it to show: clothes, phone, car, restaurants. When you have less than others, it is not the balance that drops but your sense of yourself. Klontz links this script to spending beyond one's means, risky bets and keeping financial secrets from a partner, when hiding is easier than admitting that money is short.
How it sounds inside
- “People judge by appearances”
- “A successful person has to look successful”
- “If you're poor, you didn't try hard enough”
- “No one must know about my money troubles”
- “The best means the most expensive”
Where it helps
- You are ambitious and know how to get what you want
- You value quality and know how to present yourself
- Growing matters to you more than standing still
Where it gets in the way
- Your self-esteem rises and falls with your income
- Spending on what shows eats into what matters
- It's hard to admit money problems, even to people close to you
- Comparing yourself with others never ends
Where it comes from
This script often appears in people who grew up feeling their family was “worse” than others: poorer, simpler, less visible. Or, the other way round, in a family where love depended on achievement. Money then becomes proof: I'm as good as anyone, there is something to respect in me. In therapy that proof gradually becomes unnecessary.
What to try
- Before a big purchase, ask yourself: would you buy this if no one ever saw it?
- Write down three qualities people value you for that cost no money.
- Try going a month without buying anything whose main purpose is to impress.
In a couple
To a partner with an “avoidance” script, your spending on appearances may look empty, and their modesty may look like a lack of ambition to you. What matters most is openness: no hidden purchases and no hidden debts. Financial secrets destroy trust faster than any amount of money.
Work through your script
Money is one of the themes I work with most often, including through financial constellations. If you want to understand where your script comes from and how to stop obeying it, message me.
This questionnaire is based on Brad Klontz's research on money scripts (Klontz et al., 2011). It is not the official Klontz Money Script Inventory and not a scientifically validated test, but a tool for self-reflection. A script is not a sentence: it formed once, and it can change.