Time together
Love is being truly there.
Want to know which love language you speak? Twenty pairs of statements, about three minutes.
For you, love is attention that is in no hurry. Not a gift and not words, but an evening with the phone face down, a walk with no destination, a conversation in which you are really listened to. What counts is not the number of hours but the quality of presence: you can spend a whole day side by side and never meet, or feel together in half an hour.
What fills you up
- Conversations without phones
- Shared activities and rituals
- Walks, just the two of you
- Being listened to closely
- Plans with time just for the two of you
What hurts
- Distraction while you are talking
- Cancelled plans
- A phone at the dinner table
- Living side by side, but in parallel
How to ask for it
Ask not for “more attention” but for something specific: “Let's walk for an hour without phones on Sundays.” A vague request is hard to fulfil; a clear ritual is easy to build into life.
If someone close to you speaks this language
Be truly there: put the phone away, look them in the eye, ask questions and hear the answers out. Plan time together in advance and protect it. For a person like this, a cancelled plan is not a small thing; it is a signal.
Talk about your relationship
Relationships are one of the main themes of my practice. If there is a lot of misunderstanding in a couple, it can be worked through in a session, on your own or together with your partner.
This questionnaire is based on Gary Chapman's book “The Five Love Languages” (1992) and is not the author's official test. Research on love languages is mixed: studies confirm that people express and notice love in different ways, but not that matching languages make a couple happier. Take the result as a reason to talk, not as a rule.