Touch
Love you feel on your skin.
Want to know which love language you speak? Twenty pairs of statements, about three minutes.
For you, love is closeness you can feel. A hug for no reason, holding hands, a shoulder next to yours on the sofa calm and connect you better than long conversations. Touch is the quickest way for you to know that everything is all right. That is why coldness and distance feel especially sharp, even when everything sounds fine in words.
What fills you up
- Hugs for no reason
- Holding hands
- Sitting close together
- A kiss hello and goodbye
- A touch when you feel bad
What hurts
- Coldness and physical distance
- Pulling away during a fight
- When your touch is rejected
- Closeness only when something is needed
How to ask for it
Say what you need without reproach: “I feel so calm when you just hug me in the evening.” And respect your partner's boundaries: people need touch in different amounts, and that can be agreed on.
If someone close to you speaks this language
Hug for no reason, touch in passing, sit close. In a hard moment, a touch says more than words. Don't pull away during a fight: for a person like this, physical coldness sounds like rejection.
Talk about your relationship
Relationships are one of the main themes of my practice. If there is a lot of misunderstanding in a couple, it can be worked through in a session, on your own or together with your partner.
This questionnaire is based on Gary Chapman's book “The Five Love Languages” (1992) and is not the author's official test. Research on love languages is mixed: studies confirm that people express and notice love in different ways, but not that matching languages make a couple happier. Take the result as a reason to talk, not as a rule.