Words of support
Love you can hear.
Want to know which love language you speak? Twenty pairs of statements, about three minutes.
For you, love has a sound. A sincere “well done”, an unexpected message in the middle of the day, a “thank you” for something small, and the warmth lasts for a long time. Words are not empty to you; they are proof that you are seen and valued. That is also why words hurt you more than most: harshness, mockery or a long silence can cancel out a lot of good.
What fills you up
- Praise, in private and in front of others
- Messages for no reason
- “I'm proud of you” and “I love you”
- When your efforts are noticed
- Words of support before something hard
What hurts
- Criticism and sarcasm
- Silence instead of words
- When your efforts go unnoticed
- Words thrown out in a fight
How to ask for it
Say plainly what you need to hear: “It really helps me when you say you're proud of me.” Many people find it hard to talk about feelings out loud, but they learn willingly once they understand how much it means to you.
If someone close to you speaks this language
Talk. Praise specifically, naming exactly what you liked. Send short messages during the day. Argue without putting them down: a person like this remembers a harsh word longer than you think.
Talk about your relationship
Relationships are one of the main themes of my practice. If there is a lot of misunderstanding in a couple, it can be worked through in a session, on your own or together with your partner.
This questionnaire is based on Gary Chapman's book “The Five Love Languages” (1992) and is not the author's official test. Research on love languages is mixed: studies confirm that people express and notice love in different ways, but not that matching languages make a couple happier. Take the result as a reason to talk, not as a rule.