Thinking trap
Emotional reasoning
I feel it, so it must be true. “I feel anxious” becomes “everything really is bad”. Emotion turns into evidence.
How it sounds
- “I feel unwanted - so I really am unwanted.”
- “I feel jealous, so my partner must be hiding something.”
- “I don't feel ready, so it's too early to start.”
How to spot it
Conclusions rest on a feeling rather than facts: “I'm scared, so it's dangerous”, “I'm anxious, so something is wrong”, “I'm ashamed, so something is wrong with me”. A strong emotion seems like final proof that there is no point arguing with.
Where it comes from
Emotions are faster than thoughts and once helped us react to threats instantly. But a feeling reflects your inner state, tiredness, past experience, anxiety, and not always what is happening outside.
How to get out of it
Try asking yourself
A feeling is data about my state, not a fact about reality.
A three-step practice
- Name the feeling separately from the conclusion: “I feel anxious” instead of “everything is bad”.
- Ask: what facts would support this conclusion if I didn't have this feeling?
- Wait for the wave to pass and come back to the decision with a calm head.
What to take next
- 2 minAnxietySeven questions about the last two weeks. A short screening doctors use.
- 2 minDepressionNine questions about the last two weeks. A screening doctors use all over the world.
- 2 minPerfectionismDoes the high bar help or hurt? Two scales: what you demand of yourself, and how short you feel you fall.
Based on the classification by Aaron Beck and David Burns (Feeling Good, 1980). This is a self-awareness tool, not a replacement for therapy. If you recognize too much of yourself here and it's getting in the way, that's not something to be ashamed of - it's a reason to come talk.