Thinking trap
Fortune telling
You know ahead of time how it'll end. Badly. So why even try?
How it sounds
- “I definitely won't get the role. No point even applying.”
- “I'll definitely be bored and awkward at the party, better to stay home.”
- “This anxiety will never go away.”
How to spot it
You “know” the outcome in advance and act as if it has already happened: you don't call, don't apply, don't try. The forecast is almost always bad and almost never tested.
Where it comes from
Predicting protects you from disappointment: if you decide in advance that nothing will work, failure hurts less. The price of that protection is missed chances that stay untested.
How to get out of it
Try asking yourself
I don't know the future. One version is failure, sure. But there's always more than one.
A three-step practice
- Write down the prediction and how sure you are of it, as a percentage.
- Take one small step to test it in real life.
- Later, compare what you predicted with what happened. Over time this greatly reduces your trust in gloomy forecasts.
What to take next
- 2 minAnxietySeven questions about the last two weeks. A short screening doctors use.
- 2 minDepressionNine questions about the last two weeks. A screening doctors use all over the world.
- 2 minPerfectionismDoes the high bar help or hurt? Two scales: what you demand of yourself, and how short you feel you fall.
Based on the classification by Aaron Beck and David Burns (Feeling Good, 1980). This is a self-awareness tool, not a replacement for therapy. If you recognize too much of yourself here and it's getting in the way, that's not something to be ashamed of - it's a reason to come talk.