Thinking trap
Overgeneralization
One event gets turned into a permanent law. “Always” and “never” run the show.
How it sounds
- “I bombed one interview - I'll never get hired anywhere.”
- “He was late for our meeting, you can never rely on him.”
- “It didn't work again, I can't learn anything.”
How to spot it
Your speech fills up with “always”, “never”, “everyone”, “no one”, “forever”. One bad experience is described as a rule that will keep repeating, and a conclusion about the future follows.
Where it comes from
The brain looks for patterns to predict the world, and painful experiences are remembered especially well. Generalizing protects you from being hurt again, but it also shuts the door on new experience.
How to get out of it
Try asking yourself
One event is one event. Not a law of nature.
A three-step practice
- Catch the words “always” and “never” and replace them with precise ones: “this time”, “sometimes”.
- Recall at least one exception to the “rule”.
- Ask yourself: how many times did this actually happen, and how many times did it not?
What to take next
- 2 minAnxietySeven questions about the last two weeks. A short screening doctors use.
- 2 minDepressionNine questions about the last two weeks. A screening doctors use all over the world.
- 2 minPerfectionismDoes the high bar help or hurt? Two scales: what you demand of yourself, and how short you feel you fall.
Based on the classification by Aaron Beck and David Burns (Feeling Good, 1980). This is a self-awareness tool, not a replacement for therapy. If you recognize too much of yourself here and it's getting in the way, that's not something to be ashamed of - it's a reason to come talk.